


For Want of a Sandwich

by knightofsuperior



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018), 英雄伝説VI 空の軌跡 | Sora no Kiseki | The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky (Video Games), 英雄伝説VI 空の軌跡 | The Legend of Heroes: Sora no Kiseki (Video Games)
Genre: Sora no Kiseki the 3rd | Trails in the Sky the 3rd Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 13:20:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18941827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightofsuperior/pseuds/knightofsuperior
Summary: Someone ruined Ries' lunch. Their way of making up for it is a bit unusual.





	For Want of a Sandwich

“You, uh...wanna run that by me just one more time?” Kevin couldn’t help but ask. “Cause it kinda sounded like you said-”

“I found a devil, Kevin.” Ries repeated. “He fell from the sky and landed on my lunch.”

“...now are we talkin’ actual, demonic entity, or just some asshole?”

“He could well be both, in human form.”

Kevin put a hand to his forehead. “And you’re tellin’ me he just dropped out of the sky and bolted off without a word?”

“Well, no.” Ries glanced at Grancel Cathedral. “I have the suspect detained in the chapel.”

“Ries, when did he become a-wait.” Kevin’s eyes went wide. “You  _ detained  _ someone?! Ries, what the hell?!”

“He would have gone on to ruin another lunch if I hadn’t stopped him,” Ries insisted. “On top of that, he was clearly some sort of vagrant.” Kevin flinched slightly, and Ries’ expression softened. “I’m sorry-that was…” She shook her head. “Nevermind. Come see for yourself-I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Kevin grumbled as Ries led him to the church. Ries and her hunger could never be underestimated, but this was a bit much. Fell from the sky. Ries was having lunch at the park. I.e., the place with literally no buildings surrounding it. If he was some kind of vagrant, the poor guy probably just tripped onto whatever impromptu picnic setup she whipped up. Kevin was certain that this would all be smoothed over in five minutes-and with a copious bribe of freshly baked bread sent Ries’ way as soon as possible.

He’d seen a lot of weird shit in his time, but things had been nice and quiet since the incident in Phantasma-and thank the Goddess for that; he didn’t need any more bullshit for a good long while. That’s the whole reason they were here-an actual, honest to Goddess vacation. But, it seemed work followed them everywhere.

Still, it would be nice to just have a normal (if accidental) sin to absolve.

* * *

“I said I was sorry!” The man cringed slightly, wriggling his arms in his bonds. “Jeez, that’s tight. Do they teach S&M in Sunday School these days? Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” the man quickly added. “We all have our tastes. Some of them are weird, sure, but hey. I don’t judge. In public.”

Kevin grimaced, feeling Ries’ glare attempt to pierce through his back towards the man. Not that he was fully paying attention; the smell was what was getting him. The man was decked in what could charitably be described as a rag. A frayed, green coat sat atop what seemed like a red undershirt, a pair of beige sweatpants completing the ensemble. 

It’s not like it didn’t work-but saying it worked was like saying an orbment that ran a single charge in its lifetime “worked.”

The priest knelt down, offering a sympathetic grin.  “‘S&M’?  _ Really? _ Brave words to say in front of two servants of the Goddess, pal.”

“Goddess. As in, feminine singular.” The man raised an eyebrow right back. “Wow. I must’ve seriously gotten lost. Don’t think we’ve got that where I’m from.”

“Lost? Where did-”

**_“Is that so?”_ ** Kevin flinched at the ice in Ries’ voice. Her gaze narrowed as she slid in next to Kevin, her finger straight in the man’s face. “I find it hard to believe even a demonic soul like you would be unaware of Aidios’ blessings, with all the miracles she’s granted over the past few years especially. Not that they would ever have reached you, clearly.”

“For crying out loud, is this still about your lunch?” The man groaned. “I mean, it was just a sandwich! And not even a good one, by the looks of it.” The man rolled his eyes, disdain in his tone. “I mean, it was bread, ham, and cheese. Spice it up a bit. Toss in some oregano or maybe a layer of onions. A vinaigrette goes a long way, you know. Hell, just have a burger-something with bacon and steak sauce. Really, I probably did you a favor-”

Ries drew her sword, its blade glistening as the sun just-so-happened to shine through the stained glass windows.

“-where did  **_that_ ** come from?!” 

Kevin held back the urge to laugh. He put a hand on Ries’ shoulder, and then grinned at the man. “You may wanna choose your last words carefully, bud.”

“Fine, fine, fine-I got it.” The man leaned back against the wall. “I don’t wanna get smited. Smote. Smitten. Whatever the word is.” He crossed his arms. “I’m sorry, dear Sister, for smooshing your lunch. My humblest apologies. It was truly a crime, one that cannot be forgiven or forgotten, but I were I able, I’d prostrate myself at your feet.” He paused. “Boy, I hope that’s the right word and not the other one. Don’t need a repeat of the Jersey Incident.”

Ries frowned, slowly lowering her sword. “That sounds fairly insincere...but,” she sighed, “The Goddess asks us to forgive the less fortunate for their mistakes.”

“Well, she’s already sounding better than at least a few gods I know.” The man put a hand to his chin. “How much did that sandwich cost, anyway? I can pay you back once I’m a little less...broke. I’m broke, is what I’m trying to say.”

Kevin chuckled. “Don’t worry, pal, I’ve-”

He stopped, blinking. 

“It cost 100 mira,” Ries responded. “But you can make up for it by simply doing good in the name of Aidios.”

“Gotcha. I’ll be sure to do that.” 

Ries nodded. “Let me undo your bonds. Then, we can help get you to your home-”

“Don’t bother, Ries.” Kevin’s gaze fixated on the man. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Ries blinked, glancing between Kevin and the other man.

Then, her scowl returned.

“How did you do that?”

The man chuckled. “Simple. You guys were too busy watching the mouth. Gotta watch the hands. It's basic stuff.” 

Kevin heard a “thwhip.”

“Oh, and as for the stroll-while I appreciate the offer, I’m a bit far from home right now.” The man, his right hand holding onto a long thread spreading out from a device on his wrist, smirked. “I’m sure I’ll find my way back all by my lonesome, after I’m done doing some good.” He offered a salute with his free hand. "Seeya.” In an instant, the thread (which had attached itself to the top of the furthest doorway) went taut, yanking the man forward before either Kevin or Ries had the chance to grab him. He swung from the thread out the open church doors, flinging himself upward.

By the time the two made it to the door, he was gone.

“That cretin! How dare he!” Ries’ fists trembled with rage. “To cause such a scene in the house of the Goddess!”

“Can’t be all bad,” Kevin reasoned, glancing up towards the roof. “He got out of your little snare, but he didn’t leave. He waited on ya, and apologized.”

“Then he is the most courteous criminal I’ve ever met,” Ries spat. “When I get my hands on him…” She sighed, shaking her head. “Well. If we were not to catch him now, perhaps the Goddess has other plans.”

“That’s thinkin’ positively!” Kevin replied.

“Like having him be struck by lightning.”

“...I’ve been on your bad side,” Kevin muttered, “But jeez-remind me to stay off of it.”

“Duly noted.”

Kevin gave Ries a pat on the shoulder. “Howsabout we go get something to eat, then? In memory of sandwiches lost. There’s a great cafe right nearby.”

Ries’ smile returned. “I’ll take you up on that.”

As the two walked to Baral’s Coffee House, Kevin noticed a larger crowd than usual. “Huh. Didn’t realize it was the lunch rush already.”

“Perhaps there’s a new item on the menu.”

As they approached the crowd, Kevin’s eyes went wide. “Uh. Ries?” Kevin asked, his voice shaking slightly.

“Yes?” Ries followed Kevin’s thousand-yard stare, trying to figure out what had him so spooked.

There was a man, with a purse in his hand. 

That wasn’t the strange part, Ries realized.

What was strange was that the man seemed to be hanging from the cafe’s awning. His arms were bound, his mouth gagged with some kind of silky material, wriggling like a…

“...a fly caught in a spider’s web,” Ries realized, as the man continued to struggle. 

Kevin saw Baral, the shop’s owner, staring in awe. “Hey, Baral, what the heck’s goin’ on here?” 

“This-this man,” Baral stammered, “He tried to take a lady’s purse, and...I don’t quite know how to describe it. He asked for a note card.”

“This guy?” 

Baral shook his head. “The one who grabbed him.”

Ries squinted at the criminal. “I think I know why. There’s something on his back.”

“I got it.” Kevin grabbed the criminal by his sides, grimacing at the weird texture of the man’s bonds. Ignoring the man’s muffled swears, he found what Ries had spotted: a small note. He tore it off of the man’s back, strands of web still attached afterwards. 

He read the note.

Then, he started laughing.

Ries raised an eyebrow. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s for you,” Kevin managed between breaths. Frowning, Ries walked towards Kevin, who handed her the note the instant she was at arm’s length. 

The note was short, simple, and to the point:

“To the hungry nun: doing good in the name of Adios for you. Asked the shopkeep to give you a good sandwich recipe. "New York Burger." You’re gonna love it. Sincerely, Your Friendly Inter-Dimensional Spider-Man.”

Ries stared at the card for a good moment.

“...that’s not how you spell Aidios,” she eventually managed. 

Kevin refused to stop laughing for another five minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote half of this months ago, spruced it up and finished it today. Just a fun little one-off to get some inspiration out of my system. 
> 
> And yes, Spider-Noir is probably busy fighting Jaeger corps somewhere. Because of course he would.


End file.
